DESPERATE

While chilling through my jet lag I was checking in
with the "mommy blog" world and just over-friggin-whelmed
by the "whiteness" of it all. And there, in the heart
of the plum, I found the exact example of that which
stabs me in the wrist in this world:

"I had my very first outing as a mom of two when my son
was a little over two weeks old. I desperately needed
barbeque skewers to cook the kabobs I planned for dinner."

Who the f*** desperately needs barbeque skewers two weeks
after pushing a person out of their vagina?

Perhaps I'm naive. This is an actual possibility, not
one of those statements intended to imply the opposite.

I have lived in many countries and cities within their
boundaries...and what I would desperately need at such
a moment would be to cook, if my partner was not cooking,
something that was there and easy.

I would never desperately need skewers.
I would desperately need sleep.

There are so many conclusions that one can extract
from such a statement. But white suburbia is the
most high pitched in its "look at me" scream.

Sigh.

Of course I am sure that all of this will be proved
wrong to me if I manage to actually fabricate the person
apparently growing in my uterus.

And: what the hell is up with this rash of "Bad Mommy"
blogs. Why does everyone need to be such a "bad boy".
It's a competition for the Marlon Brando of mommyhood--
We all suck at a lot of things, and being a parent
is most surely one of the biggest.

PS: The cat agrees.
PPS: I dreamed that I had a miscarriage and the baby
looked like the alien who bursts from the belly in "Alien"
I was not dressed in sexy white cotton Sigourney panties
at the time, however. My dreams don't confuse shit like that.