Sniff. Sherwin.

I was dampened and saddened
to find out, 8 minutes ago, that
Sherwin Sleeves, the man who speaks
the great podcast "Atoms, Motion, and
The Void" (as recommended by the
sensual La Belette Rouge),

this Sherwin Sleeves is not
a real person...but a character
invented by Mr. Sean Hurley.

I believed he was real because
I believe in experiences like his.

I, too, was pretty convinced I was
an alien when a child.  And I still
am not altogether unconvinced.

This was helped along by
two. separate. psychics. who
told me in two. separate. cities
in two. separate. years. that:

I am, in fact, 20% alien.

And believe me, I go into
these things trying to look
as normal as poss. with no
mention of anything like aliens.

So.

When Sherwin Sleeves talked
about his similar feelings I felt,
well, at home.  And when he
talks about acting, isolation,
and fissures in reality, I felt
I was there besides the fire.

When he talked about straight
out magical experiences, I thought:
he is writing some fiction or
embellished non-fiction...but he
is still: Sherwin Sleeves.

Now. He is no more.  And
I am even more downcast than
I was before I found this out.

The downcast that led me to write
a stupid post yesterday...is in the
downer side of cast-i-ness.

This may have ruined the podcast
for me.  I want Sherwin and his
experiences to exist.

there is a solitude that opens
like a sheer box for me every day...
some days more than others...
even The Cat willows in at me from
behind those glassy walls...

it can be bleak being a little
20% alien girl.

but no doubt.
tomorrow.
it will be better.

Now I have to go and buy paint.