There is a freakin' opera of bird song shaking
the air outside my ruin (read: house). The sun
has thrown off her shawl, the laundry is flapping
its naughty bits in the fresh wind, and, of course,
the daffodils are doing the funky chicken.
Our cat is careening about the back garden like
she invented the phrase "speed-a-licious puss puss."
Her favorite thing is to race up the laundry line
supports (two slender, transposed, headless trees),
sit on the tiny top, consider and reject the leap into
oblivion (one of my favorite pastimes) and then
slowly back down the tree trunk until she mounts
the courage to SWING her ass into the opposite
direction and, now facing head down, race back
down the tree like the big ole pimp that she is.
One day I'll post a video of this magnificence.
In my dreams last night she caught a rat in my
fathers house (where My Beloved and I were
apparently living) and started bashing it about the place,
only for me to realize that it was a baby fox...which
I immediately started to cuddle, and decided to adopt.
One of my MFA advisors was sleeping in the room
where I, in reality, first learned to masterbate (at 18!
I know!....sexual abuse will do that to a girl) and after
a quick chat with her I noticed the fox was a puppy who
had a name tag "LuLu"--one of the names we were
sort of tossing about for The Baby. Sadly, I called
the people but they didn't want the puppy back!
Said it was a hazardous puppy who would destroy
everything! Clearly this was not the case. But could
I tell My Beloved? Would he believe me? Would my MFA
adviser believe me? And when would she get out of bed???
A relatively calm dream. And pretty clear in its meaning.
I remember between 2-3 dreams/night...and have done for
most of my life. They are usually completely wild, one of my
favorites being when my mother, my brother, and I all held
hands and stepped backwards off the edge of the planet
into outer space and a bushel full of rainbows.
I am a Lucky Girl.
Lately I've been having my recurring dream where
my main sexual abuser and I fall in love, make love,
and a huge feeling of joy and peace infuses me.
That. Is Fucked Up.
xoxoxo
XuXu
PS: Don't forget, O How Could You?, The Tasty Sperm Challenge!!!
Posts
3 comments:
Who know why all these weird things infiltrate our brains while we sleep? I think it's a way to sort out the fucked uppedness (that's not really a word), and restore order to our lives.
I really want to see le chat in manic mode!
That is a tough(?) or good
(?) dream. Jungians might say that you are integrating something from the sexual abuse and whatever you have integrated is allowing you to feel some peace and joy. All this week I have been having "Bad Dad" dreams and I can tell you that I am sick to death of confronting him in my dreams. Wasn't it enough that I had to deal with him in my life.
Well I hope you get some sweet dreams. I am off to bravely click on the "Tasty Sperm Challenge". Wish me luck!;-)
I have an idea that might help you get to your goal of 50 followers. Sure, there is something in it for me. I would love you to do a post on my blog. Would you be up for sharing the things you think don't think about L.A.? If so, email me and let me know( I couldn't find your email listed).
my email is the name of my blog at gmail.com .
Post a Comment